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Tuesday, 17 September 2013

Separation Anxiety!

According to studies, this syndrome is supposed to affect babies between 9 and 20 months of age…but truly speaking, it has me under its wraps at a much higher degree than my brave lil tigress of 5 years…Be it dropping her off at Nursery when she was just a toddler or even till now where she proudly marches into her Year 1 classroom without looking back at me still standing there waving till the school bell rings and wiping my moist eyes thinking why do girls need to grow up so quickly….
At least at her Nursery I could ring at lunch hour to check on how my princess was doing, here we have no choice but to wait till I pick her from After Care to listen to the adventures of the day specifying every single detail from PE lessons to lunch menu and latest home corner gossips J which frankly I die to hear as it simply takes away all my day’s tiredness in a jiffy and better than even a hot cuppa tea!
So every year come September, I have to venture out into one of the coldest, wettest and remotest townships of North Yorkshire ( A pretty spa town for my customers based there!) for nearly a month for audits and it breaks my heart to kiss my sleeping angel goodbye in the wee hours of morning and setting sail for this horrendous exercise…
I mean I don’t know how people live out of their suitcases away from their family for days on end (Are you listening Daddy??) Just the thought of coming back to the lonely hotel corridors after a hard day at work is painstakingly depressing….
Honestly, I don’t know what I would have done without Facetime and Skype…Watching Daddy trying to tie ponytails is a scene not to be missed…Technology surely helps rescue working mums like myself to not miss out but surely it cannot take the place of actually smelling and touching your kid’s soft and supple skin against your cheeks…She is always excited to tell me all about the latest episodes of Sofia the First or what naughty Captain Hook has been upto…So even it means missing out those few minutes of tranquillity in a warm bath all by myself and my favourite novel, I rather spend it with Little Miss Chatterbox even if it’s a virtual meeting!
Latest addition to the varied vocabulary is the Symmetric patterns and 3D modelling happening at school along with Autobiographies being drafted….and of course the Mathematics Wizard says No Pressure Please while solving crucial addition and subtraction problems. Its hilarious to see how she bosses around the house pretending to be in charge when I am not around ever since I told her to look after the household! And the way she speaks just in my lingo while moaning about how cheeky our pet puppy has been lately or how Daddy forgot to take his Vitamins in the morning! Feels great to see my training hasn’t totally gone to waste…..
The best bit about going away is actually the reunion upon my arrival…The expression of her face is priceless as she spots me at the door and hugs me tightly while keeping one eye firmly on my baggage to check what goodies have returned back along with mommy which need to be almost instantaneously be devoured or taken upstairs to her bedroom to be introduced to the rest of the Barbie family members…
Now, 5th Birthday is the Watermark that officially the kiddo is now mature enough to handle certain stuff my herself: Read Minimal Responsibility…but personally ensuring every bit of the party planning right from invites to colour of the décor and paper plate including her hot couture of Merida- Disney Brave Warrior Princess and matching wig was too much for me to handle…She definitely passes the litmus test of handling stress better than her mommy…
Especially coz just then mommy had multiple projects running simultaneously dotted strategically all across UK just before the D-Day and had to become a PhD in multitasking between shopping for return gift goodies and low sugar drinks for the party and ordering for the right cake and flexing my grey cells to prevent a customer from falling prey to credit card frauds and depending heavily on the London Underground to reach meetings on time shuffling between school friends mums invitation meets and project kick offs  
….but every single moment of staying away from my heartbeat was excruciating and I wanted to run home and tell her all what I have planned for her special moment but found her fast asleep already clutching on to Doc Mc Stuffins toy….I had no choice but to whisper into her ears while slowly creeping into bed with her and cuddle my Sleeping Beauty silently…

We took her to Disneyland Paris to celebrate this milestone where Mommy and Daddy had a blast equally if not more….watching the Disney Dream come alive in reality which we have only witnessed on television screens and picture story books was indeed priceless…The icing on the cake was the Lunch date with her favourite Princesses where she looked like she could definitely take over when she grew up- dressed in her Snow White attire watching herself in the mirror a hundred times checking every loose strand of hair before the final rendezvous….

And, with at least a zillion kids around I was constantly vigilant of where this 3 feet something beauty was disappearing every time I batted my eyelids…
For few seconds, I nearly collapsed when I couldn’t see her tiny figure next to me as she confidently marched over to waltz with the Disney clan especially her favourite Snow White and got mesmerised with Prince Eric and Princess Ariel and didn’t listen to me calling out her name….Ooof thankfully, the mini meltdown was soon rejuvenated with a sumptuous 3 course meal ending with Princess dessert!

Looking back at the year gone by I have come to realise that it is next to impossible to fully gauge the complexities of maternal instincts! I mean you cant live with or without your kid literally…sometimes when its get quite handful managing your work, home and children, all you want is to get away from it all and have a bit of peace and quiet all by yourself…Something I read on one of the mommy forums made me smirk so much that ‘Going to the super market all by yourself becomes a vacation once you are a mum or even enjoying 2 minutes in the toilet really!!!’

But here I am penning down my thoughts late tonite all alone in my hotel room, I can’t help miss our sweet lil daughter crazily and wonder how I will survive when she grows up and one day leaves our nest to fly away to greater horizons to achieve her dreams and destiny….Wonder if I will ever overcome the Umbilical Cord Syndrome till my last breath…

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