Separation Anxiety!

According to studies, this syndrome is supposed to affect babies between 9 and 20 months of age…but truly speaking, it has me under its wraps at a much higher degree than my brave lil tigress of 5 years…Be it dropping her off at Nursery when she was just a toddler or even till now where she proudly marches into her Year 1 classroom without looking back at me still standing there waving till the school bell rings and wiping my moist eyes thinking why do girls need to grow up so quickly….

At least at her Nursery I could ring at lunch hour to check on how my princess was doing, here we have no choice but to wait till I pick her from After Care to listen to the adventures of the day specifying every single detail from PE lessons to lunch menu and latest home corner gossips J which frankly I die to hear as it simply takes away all my day’s tiredness in a jiffy and better than even a hot cuppa tea!

So every year come September, I have to venture out into one of the coldest, wettest and remotest townships of North Yorkshire ( A pretty spa town for my customers based there!) for nearly a month for audits and it breaks my heart to kiss my sleeping angel goodbye in the wee hours of morning and setting sail for this horrendous exercise…

I mean I don’t know how people live out of their suitcases away from their family for days on end (Are you listening Daddy??) Just the thought of coming back to the lonely hotel corridors after a hard day at work is painstakingly depressing….

Honestly, I don’t know what I would have done without Facetime and Skype…Watching Daddy trying to tie ponytails is a scene not to be missed…Technology surely helps rescue working mums like myself to not miss out but surely it cannot take the place of actually smelling and touching your kid’s soft and supple skin against your cheeks…She is always excited to tell me all about the latest episodes of Sofia the First or what naughty Captain Hook has been upto…So even it means missing out those few minutes of tranquillity in a warm bath all by myself and my favourite novel, I rather spend it with Little Miss Chatterbox even if it’s a virtual meeting!

Latest addition to the varied vocabulary is the Symmetric patterns and 3D modelling happening at school along with Autobiographies being drafted….and of course the Mathematics Wizard says No Pressure Please while solving crucial addition and subtraction problems. Its hilarious to see how she bosses around the house pretending to be in charge when I am not around ever since I told her to look after the household! And the way she speaks just in my lingo while moaning about how cheeky our pet puppy has been lately or how Daddy forgot to take his Vitamins in the morning! Feels great to see my training hasn’t totally gone to waste…..

The best bit about going away is actually the reunion upon my arrival…The expression of her face is priceless as she spots me at the door and hugs me tightly while keeping one eye firmly on my baggage to check what goodies have returned back along with mommy which need to be almost instantaneously be devoured or taken upstairs to her bedroom to be introduced to the rest of the Barbie family members…

Now, 5^th Birthday is the Watermark that officially the kiddo is now mature enough to handle certain stuff my herself: Read Minimal Responsibility…but personally ensuring every bit of the party planning right from invites to colour of the décor and paper plate including her hot couture of Merida- Disney Brave Warrior Princess and matching wig was too much for me to handle…She definitely passes the litmus test of handling stress better than her mommy…

Especially coz just then mommy had multiple projects running simultaneously dotted strategically all across UK just before the D-Day and had to become a PhD in multitasking between shopping for return gift goodies and low sugar drinks for the party and ordering for the right cake and flexing my grey cells to prevent a customer from falling prey to credit card frauds and depending heavily on the London Underground to reach meetings on time shuffling between school friends mums invitation meets and project kick offs  

….but every single moment of staying away from my heartbeat was excruciating and I wanted to run home and tell her all what I have planned for her special moment but found her fast asleep already clutching on to Doc Mc Stuffins toy….I had no choice but to whisper into her ears while slowly creeping into bed with her and cuddle my Sleeping Beauty silently…

We took her to Disneyland Paris to celebrate this milestone where Mommy and Daddy had a blast equally if not more….watching the Disney Dream come alive in reality which we have only witnessed on television screens and picture story books was indeed priceless…The icing on the cake was the Lunch date with her favourite Princesses where she looked like she could definitely take over when she grew up- dressed in her Snow White attire watching herself in the mirror a hundred times checking every loose strand of hair before the final rendezvous….

And, with at least a zillion kids around I was constantly vigilant of where this 3 feet something beauty was disappearing every time I batted my eyelids…

For few seconds, I nearly collapsed when I couldn’t see her tiny figure next to me as she confidently marched over to waltz with the Disney clan especially her favourite Snow White and got mesmerised with Prince Eric and Princess Ariel and didn’t listen to me calling out her name….Ooof thankfully, the mini meltdown was soon rejuvenated with a sumptuous 3 course meal ending with Princess dessert!

Looking back at the year gone by I have come to realise that it is next to impossible to fully gauge the complexities of maternal instincts! I mean you cant live with or without your kid literally…sometimes when its get quite handful managing your work, home and children, all you want is to get away from it all and have a bit of peace and quiet all by yourself…Something I read on one of the mommy forums made me smirk so much that ‘Going to the super market all by yourself becomes a vacation once you are a mum or even enjoying 2 minutes in the toilet really!!!’

But here I am penning down my thoughts late tonite all alone in my hotel room, I can’t help miss our sweet lil daughter crazily and wonder how I will survive when she grows up and one day leaves our nest to fly away to greater horizons to achieve her dreams and destiny….Wonder if I will ever overcome the Umbilical Cord Syndrome till my last breath…

ROLE REVERSAL

Last weekend, Joy and I were going through some picture albums to replace old photos on the fridge magnets and we were in for a reality shock…..4 years already! Still can’t believe it was just that day when we saw her new born head full of hair and utterly annoyed expression at the cameras shuttering around….the expression still is somewhat around though accompanied by endless chatter and questions and cute lil gibberish terms….

My Adya has now undergone rapid metamorphosis into a ‘Grown Up’ overnight… that little bunny who was crawling under the tables sometime back has just ran her first obstacle race at her school sports day and done us proud by winning her first medal!

So, few weeks back when I underwent a double wisdom tooth extraction surgery and looked like I had swallowed a balloon…it was madam Adya soothing my aches, patting me to bed with endless kissies for my boo boos and keeping her promises to daddy of not troubling me while eating her dinner or getting ready for school!

This year seems to be marked as my health show down special; next came adulthood Chicken Pox with a vengeance $%@£&%!

 I wish my mom would have let me have a chat with my neighbour’s son in my childhood when he had them, so that I wouldn’t have to undergo this atrocious syndrome of erupting volcanoes all over me without any mercy…but one look at my darling daughter kissing my forehead stating: ‘Its OK Mommy…it will go away don’t worry….shhaat shhaat’ ….and that worked faster than any calamine lotion in the universe!

With her latest boy crop, she looks so much ‘Mini Me’- Flashback 25 years…  I mean she definitely has inherited some DNA molecules from my side…

She keeps tally of all her personal belongings and ensures bringing back every single misplaced hairclip or accessory that tend to disappear in her nursery… My weekend helper assists in all household chores in return of Hello Kitty ice lollies!

Loves her fashion and doesn’t like to repeat clothes before approx 45 days (Kindly supported by the Autumn/ Winter/ Fall collection: Courtesy Daddy’s China Return Wardrobe makeover J

Loves to paint/ sketch/draw on anything that appears to be remotely as a canvas awaiting her master strokes including my work papers… An art and craft pro in making, Madam Adya has tried her hand at everything right from the Olympic torch to Pottery delights of her hand made piggy bank and not to forget her slightly burnt but delicious cupcakes.

Home decoration traits are omnipresent Fairy stickers display in every nook and corner of house, even daddy’s laptop haven’t been spared. Last time I had to peel off Snow White from my Iphone to prevent the lady next to me on the Underground Train from smirking!

And of course the X Factor: Verbal Flood with no control barriers leading to awkward public dilemma situations of Mommy, how old are you? Or why has she got red hair like Ariel the mermaid princess?  She nearly had Joy fall off the couch that day when she said, ‘Oh my HUSBAND gave me that hairband’!!!

But all said and done, daddy’s genes are getting predominant too… Adya checks whats inside the sandwich before even having a tiny nibble and wouldn’t have bfast or lunch or dinner without some meat involvement in any format….and goes ‘Mmmmm mommy…that smells delicious whatya cooking for dinner’ as soon as she sets foot inside the house!

This year for my 30^th birthday, hubby planned a nice surprise at 12 o clock with chocolates and cake **blush blush** but I had to wait till she woke up and set up all candles before cutting it for me as per her strict instructions the day before…

Turning 4 is a big milestone…all birthday gifts have moved up a notch…no more teddy bears or crying dollies but Ben and Holly have captured the market space this year! This fever was widespread including duvet covers and invites and table covers and napkins and of course the two tier birthday cake (Amazon Zindabad!)

 Adya ensured ticking off and approving every item on my list while planning her bday bash in our garden. Who said summersaults of 25 children in the bouncy castle as well as handling guest appearances by Minnie Mouse was easy!

She’s shooting up faster than the pine tree in our garden and mummy needs to go shopping for new trousers and shoes every fortnight … not that I am complaining ;-) as it gives me a chance of Retail Therapy and Adya enjoys accompanying me to this sprees quite often. I had her height marked on her bedroom wall - date and time stamped for her to see how little she used to be when she grows up…which is fast approaching!

This cheeky monkey now has little girls looking upto her as their IDOL who want to be just like her and caused many a little girl’s parents delight who have finally started sleeping in their own bedrooms like Adya!

But, shes still such a baby and falls asleep with a few pats and a really long story…and you have one look at her ‘ I AM RECHARGING: DO NOT DISTURB’ mode and you wanna gobble up those cheeks!

Vacations with mamma are now a delight! Since mom and dad now plan their break only in destinations with at least 3 or more attractions for kids within 1 mile….so be it Lake District or Blackpool Beach, we seem to enjoy Beatrix Potter Peter Rabbit and Pleasure Beach children’s rides much more than scenic beauty or fish and chips!

We are honestly living our childhood once more with Adya and every parent of a toddler would vouch for this feeling as the most rewarding part putting aside all the rest of the mania and mayhem involved…

She is conducting constant good girls vs bad boy contests in her mind….barring few handful privileged gentlemen who are in her good books such as Akash, Vinay and off course Diego- Dora’s cousin brother! Her rapid growth spurts are also marked with adorable acts such as being smitten by Bollywood dancing and aping all advertisements on Nickelodeon…

 Adya has mastered almost all the words that Dora teaches in Spanish and very comfortably declared at school that we speak Spanish at home and her Daddy is a Subject Matter Expert which caused her class teacher to greet Joy with a HOLA AMIGO every morning and him rushing out of the classroom with a red face and hiccups!

Her latest fetish is exploring all possible apps on the iPhone including unlocking the code in a jiffy, texting her daddy every 3 minutes, downloading and playing games and clicking her zillionth snap reversing the camera towards herself!

She is currently enacting the Big sister and lil bro role play in repeat shuffle mode… asking Mommy when would you have a baby in your tummy and Don’t worry, I will look after it and take baby to Giggles with me…

Which is really a worrisome thought with project audit report deadlines and the schedule of exhibitions dotted across the globe  for Adya’s mommy and daddy…given the fact that God  listens to lil children’s innocent prayers! But, honestly, I think it might be a business development ploy by the nursery…

But, two weeks back when Adya walked into her Big school in her new smart uniform, smoking up the competition, looking lusciously adorable and stating ‘Go home now…Don’t worry…Im a BIG girl now’.… Joy and I looked into each other’s eyes realised time is just zooming past….that little pink bundle now rules over our hearts and lives and the roles are truly reversed with a couple of lessons learnt by us from her instead of the other way around!

Welcome to Toddlerdom!

Mother’s Day has just gone by and as I look around our home I can see displays of my little crawling and gurgling baby brat maturing into a creative and very very talkative toddler…this year I was spoilt rotten with breakfast in bed and lots of goodies handcrafted by Adya including a photoframe with made out of pasta shells and tie and dye patterns (revealing my inner secrets of bribery) – ‘I like mummy coz she buys me icecream!’

No cooking for the day, endless chitchats with my daughter about what all her other friends made for their mums and wrapping up with an accupressure mat to deal with my aching back…I am one lucky mum!

Last few months have been quite hectic work for me ( which explains the delayed blog posting) and so I decided to take a mini break for some ME time finally….so whilst I am really enjoying Il bel far niente: The beauty of doing nothing – and the pleasures of crawling back inside the duvet at odd hours of the day, starting and finishing a novel on the same day, some sketches here and there and gardening till I drop dead; I have also tried to observe and note down the rapid growth spurts I am witnessing in my lil lady which may disappear faster than I can blink my eyes…

Adya now demonstrates a technicolour imagination; tell tales are a daily affair- ‘Mummy, today the dinosaur nearly swallowed me after school but my best buddy saved me; Oh Daddy, there is a crocodile under my bed- can I sleep in yours tonite?’ And off course informing all her Nursery carers that Mummy has a baby in her tummy leading to the embarrassment of hiding the fact that its actually just excess weight and love handles!

Now would you believe that this under 4 is already asking if she can have a sleepover this weekend with her friends?? She does give her Daddy mini heart attacks when her sentences end with ‘That’s Wicked!’ and ‘I reckon’ and ‘Don’t disturb me now, I am busy thinking’ or ‘Excuse me pls, Stop taking my video’ or ‘ I need space, don’t squash me’...

Her vocabulary is definitely getting colourful but its amazing to watch how refine their skills can get at such a tender age already….Its so funny to watch how they are all victims of Mass Wee- Wee Syndrome- if one kids wants to go, its ‘Follow the Leader’ time, the same applies to food habits- the way they will chomp on a new recipe or drink up a new flavoured juice drink at a friends place and say ‘Yuck’ when you buy the same thing at the supermarket the very next day! It is fantastic to observe the stark contrast in your toddler’s behavior- one day she is ‘Spiderwoman’ daredevil enough to hold a Tarantula Spider in her bare hands on a Tropical Zoo Visit and next day she screams her lungs out when someone uses the electric hand dryer in the ladies washroom! Toddlers and rainbows- now we see it and the next moment it’s gone!

She has inherited 95% of my non stop chatter chromosomes- with questions popping out like rapid fire round of a quiz contest- ‘Mommy, who’s that on the phone? Is it a girl or a boy? Does she like pink like me? Aaw my goodness me- does her mommy tell her off? …Ooof, I think I need a Cuppa Tea…Daddy, that’s not the way to say it! These are boots not shoes, silly! Arrrr I am a Pirate, me Hearty’…

It hurts her little toddler ego already if we tell her, ‘Mamma when you were little, you said ‘Gascalator’ instead of escalator or ‘Hutabu’ instead of Mr. Tumble’ and she promptly states ‘It’s not funny’!

And God save you if you say ‘I don’t know Adya’ and she will pester you ‘Please can you know, plsssssssss’!

Adya has already mastered the art of using our laptop like a champ and practices motor skill exercises by attaining high scores every weekend on http://www.educationcity.com/ and www.gruffalo.com.

This budding science fan knows that Japanese girls wear Kimono, Chinese eat with chopsticks and can point out all the continents in the world map including the fact that she lives in London upon river Thames which is in England and Granny lives in India – all thanks to endless sessions with Daddy with the World Mini Atlas Book in the car back seat waiting for school gates to open or World Map from the book fair put up on her bedroom wall!

She enjoys her visits to the local library post swimming lessons every Saturday and can give you a mini lecture on how to issue your book by beeping the code under the scanner!

She can now solve 64 piece puzzles in a jiffy and knows her numbers till 30 (Well, she calls it twenty ten LOL!) She is almost there in her left handed operation in mastering to hold the pen to trace alphabets and enjoys colouring Disney Princess characters. Yes, she has finally promoted from Peppa Pig to Ben and Holly and Minnie Mouse and other cartoon characters- However, when its SOS time, the pig still rules the ring!

My little bunny has also done very well at her school this term- I just attended my first Parents Meeting and returned home with a puffed up chest filled with immense pride after witnessing how Adya has evolved with other children in class participating in all activities both study and play…Parents have to leave a message for the child to say how much they appreciate their efforts which I think is fantastic for a toddler’s morale boost. The best bit was watching her photos around the classroom dressed up as Red Riding Hood as her favourite book character for World Book Day!

My lil cupcake is one style diva- I just love the way she walks around with her hands tucked into her pockets with attitude, showing off her pink sunglasses the moment it’s a bit warm, her confidence at her first Dentist trip to check and count her 20 teeth, the way she checks the time every ten minutes in her Peppa wristwatch which was a gift from Santa this year,  the way she combs her hair with her Hello Kitty hairbrush after a salon haircut with instructions to keep it smart and neat and looking into her mirror the way she goes ‘I am so pretty and intelligent Daddy’ and we all know by now how Daddy melts into pudding with these words and actions….

Now, after reading my Blog many would think I am one of the SMOGs- Smug Mothers Of Girls which is the tongue- in- cheek nickname for mums who think that girls rock and gone are the days of desperation of having a boy child (Ooops sorry mommies of big boys)…but I am super confident that 90% of my classmates and colleagues and best buddies who have lil girls would give me a high five to agree that having a girl is the best gift on earth! I am a proud mommy of my awesomest daughter and totally love showing her off as my prize trophy and boy am I glad that Adya’s mine!

Break ke Baad!

OK guys I am still alive and kicking and not a chart topper in ‘Missing Person’ list as yet!

It has been a rollercoaster ride last couple of months: Moving into our new home, Adya starting big school, and mad rush to meet deadlines at work, grandparents’ yearly visit and Adya throwing tantrums while missing Daddy on his never ending business trips.

Autumn has arrived here already with the mercury fast dropping, days getting shorter, horrid clouds and rain turning London grey and morose. And with all the activities described above – both manmade and natural- happening simultaneously, my hair is falling at a quicker rate than all the orange leaves from trees all over town!

I mean come on I am not Sarah Jessica Parker from ‘I don’t know how she does it’ (Although, secretly I wouldn’t mind!) Any working mom who has seen this movie or read this hilarious novel by Allison Pearson would identify instantly dying with time starvation and juggling with priorities on your daily Rota. At least this actress gets paid to look good on camera – we moms would feel good if we got 8 minutes only to put our feet up and enjoy our evening cup of tea after a hard day’s work and surviving the Underground Tube journey back home!

Then, you face the great challenges of ‘I don’t like this or that’ and ‘Mummy, I am not happy with you, Say Sooorrryyyy right now’.

Adya brought tears to my eyes this morning when she said ‘Don’t say STOP IT STOP IT all the time mummy, LEAVE ME ALONE!’ I just couldn’t digest this coming from my 3.5 year old rebel already. I could feel a sharp pain in my heart thinking how much I must have hurt my parents when I said the same lines and much more….I guess these are lessons learnt with growing up pains…

Adya’s volatile mood changes can defy the changing colours of the season and nature around us…she is hot headed one moment and a cool cucumber smiling cheekily the very next moment. But,can’t blame her with the big turmoils happening in her lil world all at once.

In July this year, we bought our 1^st home located in a quiet woodland of suburban London away from the hustling City noise. Adya actually liked it at the very instance when we went for viewing and said ‘ Daddy, this is Adya’s new yellow house- Just like Peppa’s’.

 It is a pretty Victorian style house with a lovely front garden and a back porch- ideal for barbeques, teddy bear picnics and cycle rides (and drying soiled nursery clothes!). Although we didn’t catch much of the summer sun this year, we did manage to have a few housewarming parties and play dates thoroughly enjoyed by my little champ.

The Big Move was back breaking with more cardboard cartons carrying toys, books, puzzles and high chair, prams and cot bed than all our grown up clothes and essentials put together. We had to wrap up everything very hastily - that includes shifting baggage, delivery of furniture and appliances, house legal paperwork, unpacking, settling in within 5 days of official leave from work and all this without ‘the storm never passed by here’ look on our faces! 

All this done and dusted, Adya settled in pretty quickly in her cozy bedroom which Daddy and I made sure had all elements of our own childhood fantasies…books, toys, mirror, mini piano, bed and study table-  all coordinated with her choicest characters such as Peppa, Disney Princess, Pooh Bear, Upsy Daisy!     

(At least that took care of her not creeping into our bed each night from her cot bed). Frequent repetitions of the chant ‘Adya you are a BIG girl now!’ actually worked for us!

My lil helper has fallen for this line so badly that she actually gives us a hand around the household chores now- picks up every crumb she drops down to throw it in the bin, helps me put the with the laundry out to dry and plays Daddy’s assistant gardener to water plants and mow grass!

The ratio of Adya’s house warming play dates with her nursery friends compared to us adults is already 3:1! But, it was a pleasure to host the lil cheeky ones enjoying their ice lollies and soaking up some sun in the garden. 

The number of attendees at the summer fair in the next door playground rose steadily with Adya’s pals paying her a visit.

And, oops I forgot to mention the teddy bear tea parties with Daddy whenever he was home on a weekend and not travelling to yet another foreign destination.(I loved these so that I could quickly escape to the parlour or read lat few pages of the novel dying to know who the killer is!)

Next stop: Adya’s big school. I have never seen a child so happy and excited to go to school. Both Joy and I cried every morning when left at the school gate when we were kids…and there was my lil angel donning her brand new uniform, hair neatly combed back complete with school bag and accessories and kissing me goodbye like she has done this all her life…

Instead, it was mommy having tears in her eyes to see her march to Mrs. Standing’s arms and greeting her with a big smile and a charming ‘Good Morning’…

Since, I am a full time working mom since Adya was 10 months old, and need to travel constantly to client sites, I have arranged for this angel for Adya’s school pick up drop. And guess what, my photo copy machine promptly apes her style- commanding us to sit in her mock- car, straps us securely to the pretend car seat, jangles her car keys and forces us to drink some juice while she drives us home!!!

Going to school for today’s Gen-x is learning how to operate a computer at 3 + and improve communication skills?? I mean come on at that age I barely knew what is ABC and Adya and most of her friends know the entire alphabet, numbers and much more…I am sure at this rate they will overtake our present IQ levels at 5!

I am glad my book bug has bitten my little girl too and she gets a new book home each day for us to read together.(And then mommy gotta write a book report daily to say what she liked the most- Ya right what about mommy trying to save the dinner from burning in the oven while saying…and they lived happily ever after…’)

But honestly, I quite enjoy this quiet time together with her each night when I read to her while tucking her to bed and a adding her own stories on what activities she was upto in school today and which boy was doing naughty and who is her best friend for the day. 

Adya insists some additional reading sessions on weekends when we both must read different books at the same time and mind you she will check if you are reading the right storyline or just pretending, coz she can actually memorize and judge the book by its cover…

Finally, Adya’s yearly rendezvous with her grandparents was really entertaining where she constantly played BOSS- It was hilarious to see her picking up Bengali terminology from them and reproducing them in her firang accent: Kachakola khabe, bhaat mach khabe Dadu? 

She would have endless hours of Shopkeeper- Customer sessions with granny and bully her to dig out ice lollies hidden in the freezer by mommy after school! She would pretend to be their teacher, mummy, ballerina, cleaner and many other role plays took place but with each one directed, scripted, orated, produced and edited by Adya alone!

She behaved like a grown up lady dressing up in Indian attire and praying with her eyes closed during Durga Puja at home. I am a proud mom really!

I see so many changes in my daughter in so little time that its tough to keep pace just like the ever changing weather. I try to capture these priceless moments in photos, videos and words but I know this too shall pass and one day she will be all grown up and read these lines and say ‘What rubbish Mommy, I never did that or I never ever said that!!’

In simple 2 words, Adya was, is and always be my PAAKA BOORI !